| ONTD |
[Jun. 1st, 2009|10:20 pm] |
So the other night I was at the comedy club that Pam Beesly Malka Levy was performing at and I looked over at one point, and I swear to God, I saw Elijah Gold! My phone doesn't have flash, though, so I couldn't get a picture and he left really quickly at the end of the show. Anyway, I was like "No picture, it didn't happen!" so I didn't say anything about it but THEN I was at the Safeway on Wisconsin (in DC, duh!) and I ran into him again! This time I DID get a picture. Not only was he really nice, but he also confirmed that he had been at the comedy club! Something else I noticed? TOTALLY BUYING KOSHER! And okay, so I'm a bit of a stalker but I know for a fact that he doesn't usually keep kosher. GUESS WHO DOES, GUISE?! MALKA LEVY! COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!
Okay, I just have to say this. I don't get the whole attraction thing there. I mean, he's really fucking funny and as I said he was really nice but she just seems like she could do better. YTE, y/y?
SAUCE: Me, myself and I.
Tags: Elijah Gold, Malka Levy
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| 13 April |
[Apr. 13th, 2009|11:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Cedar Cinder : When I Grow Up | ] |
Night water tastes different than day water. Don’t ask me the science behind it, but it always does. It’s always warmer, slightly less pure tasting. Fuck you water. Fuck you. That’s really beside the point, though. The point is…
Okay, I have no point. I can’t sleep, I can’t write. I’m trying to pass time in sort of constructive fashion but I keep getting so fucking distracted that nothing is making sense and nothing is getting done. At least my Jew joke about a bacon and egg croissanwich Passover breakfast seemed to have gone over well? God, I really can’t think. Fuck my life.
My windshield wipers decided to stop working today. Or, rather, they decided to fall apart. They’ve been threatening it for a while, but today, while it was raining, the rubber of one decided to come off while a bent metal piece on the other etched a nice little arch into my windshield. It’s a brand new windshield. Of course I had to curse when I noticed it. Of course Sara had to pick up on it, and spend the next hour of The Egg Roll saying “piece of shit!” in front of The President of the United States. Of course Max had to throw up on Senator Miers, and then throw a fit when I tried to get him to go home. This is my life we’re talking about, after all. If things went right for once, the world as we know it would implode. Still, I suppose that after 40 plus years of it, you get used to it. I went on a date the other day, got my tie caught in a cab door (don’t ask me how you do it, I’m not sure myself) and ended up half strangled. My date look terrified. I laughed. As I said: You get used to it. Still, I have this funny feeling she isn’t going to take my call.
A friend suggested I'm getting into the dating scene too soon the other day. I told him my hairline wasn't getting any closer to my eyes. Some days, though, I wonder if he isn't right. How long are you really supposed to wait, after all? I feel like there ought to be a mourning period of some sort, but eight years of marriage weren't all that different than four years of living with a girl. They call it serial monogamy in some of the trendy magazines, this seemingly inability to commit to a "forever" but willingness into enter into a long-term relationship. I call it being bad at relationships. She accused me of being closed off when she left me. I accused myself of being boring. I suppose that's what I get for having married someone young and beautiful. At least next time around, I'll know to marry someone old and ugly. At least then, I know they won't leave me for someone better looking.
You know, I’m starting to think that God isn’t taking to my jokes about Passover too well. Maybe I shouldn’t have given the kids candy to celebrate a holiday we don’t believe in? |
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